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Gambling For Life


I once was very fuckin drunk in a casino. I navigated in a hazy blur laughing about nothing with all of my buddies. We stumbled to the roulette table and there was a man there gambling like a mother fucker. He slammed down $500 on red seven ... it didn't come up ... he did it again ... no luck ... again ... nope. We watched this mysterious man piss away around $4000.00 in 10 or 12 minutes. He left dejected, his head was slung down. Staring at his shoes.

I wondered what that guy was thinking. Why would he blow all that money in what was not a fun ordeal. From what I saw he didn't enjoy any of it. Every time that ball didn't drop on the 7 he got more and more desperate looking. It was honestly sad and simultaneously sobering. In my now hungover 4am state I reflected on money, my relationship with it, and what it all really meant. (I assume this was how Kanye felt a couple hours after the Taylor Swift Grammy's debacle.) I thought about the extremes, the guy that pisses away every cent, and the guy that saves every penny. I didn't really want to be either. Saving money was great, I enjoyed looking at my account and feeling a sense of calm. I also liked that savings allowed me to invest quickly when I saw an opportunity or a deal. However, I always kept a good balance, looking at everything as an investment is a sure fire way to hate your life. If I wanted to buy some overpriced booze and blow some money on a night out, fuck it, I worked for it so I didn't hold myself back (within reason). Now certain of my balanced financial personality I tried to look deeper. I asked myself "why doesn't spending money bother me? Why am I not tighter with my money?", my first thought was that I was, perhaps, a raging narcissist that would appease my outrageously large ego with whatever it craved. I decided that this was probably partially true, but, I kept digging. As my drunken self evaluation continued it dawned on me that my relationship with money was healthy because I enjoyed how I earned money. I thought about it, if I hated what I did every day, I would probably either save money and pray to retire early, or , I would use every dollar as a distraction from the misery I experienced carrying out my mundane life. For me, I didn't even think of retirement, my work was important to me and I enjoyed it. On the other hand, I liked to have fun and enjoy myself, but I wasn't trying to escape my miserable existence. I thought to myself, "true financial freedom is enjoying how you earn money"

then I threw up in a garbage can. SPRINKLES ARE FOR WINNERS.

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